( If you are reading this anywhere but my blog, you can find the original post here. )
I am sure you have heard of Facebook by now, unless you have been living on another planet. Facebook, the social network that has over 200 million users worldwide, is a place to connect with friends, co-workers, classmates and family to share your pictures, send virtual gifts and share snippets of your daily life.
This all sounds great, right? For the most part it is, however there are times that the fun and connection can lead to problems in your relationship with your partner. I am sure some of you are saying “No”, “Not Me”! But most will have to agree that the connections you make on Facebook can affect the relationship you have at home.
First let me say this is from a guy’s perspective and I don’t know how a woman’s perspective would differ. If you are a woman reading this blog post, please do leave your comments below, I would love to hear your side.
Let’s put aside the issue of how much time you spend on the computer and neglect your partner; that is for a whole different post. Today the question I am posing to you is what effect does Facebook have on your relationship.
Assume that you and your partner both have Facebook accounts and you are both linked as “In a Relationship” -or- “Married“. Let’s also assume that you have no separate “Secret” Facebook accounts that you are hiding from your partner; that is also a subject for a whole different post. If this is the case, then all should be fine in Facebook world, no?
Not so fast, it is all fun and games when you send each other virtual gifts, poke each other, play Texas Holdem and even write on each others walls and status updates. I have even seen some profiles where both partners appear in each others profile pictures.
But what happens when a “Friend” from the past (before your current relationship) shows up on your partner’s friend list? Is it just Facebook so it doesn’t matter? Would you care at all? Even if your relationship is rock solid would there not be any question in your mind about this new found friendship?
It can be very easy for Facebook to cause troubles in paradise with a simple “Accept Friend Request“. Would it not matter to you in the least that your partner has made a connection with someone that he or she was involved with in the past? If it does matter, what would you do?
- Would you fight with your partner?
- Would you ask your partner to delete this friend?
- Would you throw the computer out the window?
I would love to hear either side of this argument, please feel free to post in the comment section below.
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Hey Phil, I have to say I added Freddy to my friends list. Freddy was my first everything! My husband knows this and was actually friends with Freddy before I ever met Freddy.
I also went to elementary school with my husband. I have commented maybe once or twice on his status. Ran into him and his wife at a bar one night and a couple of beers with them.
Now my husband knows all of this. He also knows my password on facebook and can log in anytime, read my messages and posts. So if you don’t have anything to hide then it shouldn’t matter. I enjoy looking at old friends pictures. Seeing that everyone is happy and has beautiful families.
And what I always keep in mind is that if a person is going to cheat they will do it regardless. They will find a way, just don’t make it easy for them! Trust but be wary.
Thanks for the comment Lisette.
I agree that if someone wants to cheat it will happen no matter what. However I do think Facebook can make it easier to do simply because you can chat, private message, etc all without the personal interaction of other communication avenues.
However the real question is not that your husband thinks you are going to cheat but has any of your facebook friends caused issues between you and your husband? Let’s just say “Freddy” that you spoke of started commenting on many of your posts and “liked” everything of yours do you think your husband would be ok with that?
I think facebook can be great to keep in touch with friends and family, but it can also cause problems in a relationship especially one that already has problems…
The big question is then is this person “liking” alot of people’s posts or just yours? Cause if that’s the case then it would be a problem because that’s kind of stalkish behavior. Focusing on you and what you have to say.
So then I agree it can cause problems. Then you should block the person from commenting or viewing your wall.